Why Do Our Children Do What They Do?
March 25, 2024

The scene may feel familiar. We sit down for a family dinner. Our youngest starts tapping their spoon against a bowl, fascinated by the sound it makes. Our middle child begins asking a series of questions: “What does it mean to get an education? Why do people go to school? Why was Malala shot? Why are there wars?” The oldest starts getting frustrated with the other two, wanting them to follow directions and have their dinner places in order.


In that chaotic moment before dinner, it’s easy for exasperation to take over. As adults, we might sometimes wonder what in the world propels our children. Really, what are they thinking when they try making holes by poking the table with a fork?


Innate Human Tendencies


We are born with innate human characteristics. We are hard-wired to explore, work, connect, and communicate. We crave order in our surroundings. We imagine possibilities. We create. We need to orient to what is around us, move our bodies, and wonder about the how and why. These human tendencies are unconscious, universal drives and they are at play from birth.


Thus, the newborn has familiar landmarks when hearing their mother’s heartbeat. If allowed to be on the floor, the infant will rotate their body and move in amazing ways. This drive to move propels babies into scooting, crawling, and eventually coming to that upright position that allows them to use their hands and explore the environment. 


We recognize these needs in our infants, yet that vital life force is powerful for older children, too. When our child is exploring the noise of the spoon against the bowl, they aren’t trying to aggravate us. They are just exploring cause and effect, and delighting in the auditory result.


Awareness of Internal Drives


When we take time to remember that children are compelled by basic human tendencies, we can begin to explore those tendencies and, as such, help our children become their best selves. 


Our home and learning environments can provide children with a sense of order. Knowing where one’s things go and how to help contribute to a task provides children with a sense of security and belonging. Just think about the feeling of uncertainty you can get when you visit someone’s home and don’t know whether to take off your shoes, where to hang your coat, or even how to be useful. By making sure our children feel welcome and purposeful and providing consistent routines, we help children develop an orientation to the world around them.


We can prepare our children for routines and offer accessible spaces that allow them to participate in the functioning of the day. They can help set the table, feed the cats, gather the laundry, prepare their lunches, and so much more. By participating in a meaningful way, they feel significant and ultimately more confident.


Our children’s constant questioning merely comes from a need for intellectual exploration. These big questions speak to their newfound mental ability to ponder expansive ideas about the world. As our children venture into new territory, either physically or intellectually, they benefit from opportunities to test their ideas and make connections to what they already know.


As social beings, we have to learn ways to collaborate effectively. The earliest humans had to cooperate to survive. An older child trying to force cooperation may just need some light support to find a way to communicate and connect with younger peers or siblings, rather than lapsing into exasperation. 


Supporting Development


Human tendencies are unconscious, universal drives that support our adaptation to our particular time and place. We are hard-wired to adapt to our environment! The human tendencies – to orient, explore, order, abstract, imagine, calculate, work, be exact, perfect oneself, and communicate and associate with others – help aid this adaptation and really our ability to become our best selves. 


In Montessori, our classrooms and curriculum are designed with these human tendencies in mind, with particular attention to how these innate drives manifest themselves at different stages of development. 


We work to recognize, honor, and support innate characteristics in children so that we aren’t obstructing their important development. When supported in this way, our children can reach new heights. Come visit our school to learn more!


Teacher reading with young children, modeling attentive adult presence in early learning.
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Child using color-coded word cards to explore pronouns in a Montessori language activity.
March 9, 2026
When children begin working with pronouns in Montessori, they are not learning something entirely new. Instead, they are bringing to consciousness language they already use every day. Pronoun work builds slowly and intentionally. It is not about mastering grammar rules, but about understanding how language functions and how meaning is carried when words stand in for one another. Beginning With Experience, Not Explanation Montessori pronoun work begins with movement and spoken language, not written grammar. We start with little oral games to highlight how a pronoun functions, sometimes eliminating the pronoun (“Josie and John and Jack and Josiah are walking around the table.”) and other times emphasizing the pronoun (“They are walking around the table.”). The children love acting out the phrases, sometimes chanting, moving, watching one another, and laughing. Through these physical experiences, they begin to notice that we don’t always use names when we speak. Certain words take the place of a noun, and the meaning is still clear. At this stage, we don’t offer the term pronoun because we want children to simply experience its function. From Movement to Sentences Once children are ready for more structured language work, we introduce them to the Pronoun Grammar Box so they can build and rebuild sentences using color-coded cards for each part of speech. From one sentence to the next, only a few words change as nouns get replaced by pronouns. By comparing sentences, children discover that although the word changes, the sentence still makes sense. This comparison is essential. Rather than being told what a pronoun is, children see what it does. We then invite children to add grammar symbols to the sentence (noun, article, adjective, verb, preposition, adverb) until we finally draw attention to the remaining word: “This word is used in place of a noun.” Only then do we introduce the pronoun symbol: a purple isosceles triangle, the height of the noun symbol. Montessori Lore: The Pronoun’s Story There’s a beloved story about the pronoun symbol. Long ago, the pronoun was shorter and a different color. Wanting to be as important as the noun, it stretched itself taller and taller to reach the same height. As it stretched, its base became smaller and it turned purple from the effort of standing in the noun’s place. It’s a poetic reminder of what children discover through their work: a pronoun depends on the noun, borrowing its meaning while standing in for it. Why Pronouns Come Later Pronouns are more abstract than other parts of speech. To understand a pronoun, children must already have a strong, concrete understanding of the noun. For this reason, pronouns (along with interjections) are typically introduced later than other grammar symbols, often in the elementary years. Even then, one lesson is not enough. In Montessori, the real learning happens after the presentation, when we step back and children work independently with the material. The guide’s role is to show how to use the material, not to explain grammar in detail. Understanding emerges through repeated use. Deepening Understanding Through Play and Exploration As children grow more confident, the work expands to include: Transposition games, where pronouns are removed or replaced to explore how meaning changes. Command cards, which physically isolate pronouns through action. Personal pronoun charts, introducing first, second, and third person (singular and plural) through storytelling. The Verb Family, where children explore the close relationship between the verb, adverb, and pronoun. Children discover that pronouns often work closely with verbs, helping to carry action and meaning through a sentence. Subtleties Come Later At first, Montessori avoids getting caught in fine distinctions. Over time, children may explore nuances such as the difference between possessive pronouns (the book is mine) and possessive adjectives (my book). These discussions often happen later, sometimes with the support of grammar references, once children have a solid foundation. Language Revealed, Not Taught Through this carefully layered progression of movement, sentence work, symbols, and exploration, children develop a deep understanding of how words function differently in sentences. Montessori grammar invites children to discover how language works at their own pace through hands-on exploration. We don’t rush this process. So by the time children are ready to name the pronoun, it’s not a new idea. It’s something they already know. We invite you to visit our classrooms in Delran, New Jersey to see firsthand the children’s joy of learning!