Our Montessori Bookshelf: The Parent Corner
June 3, 2024
Our Montessori Bookshelf: The Parent Corner

This summer is a great time to carve out a little adult time and disappear into some good books! While we certainly advocate for some mindless escape, we also recognize that all the extra time with family might mean you’d like some parenting resources, too!


With that in mind, we’re sharing a few of our recent favorite resources for parents and caregivers. While these aren’t specifically Montessori books, they are so aligned with what we do that we just had to share! 


Hunt, Gather, Parent: What Ancient Cultures Can Teach Us About the Lost Art of Raising Happy, Helpful Little Humans

by Michaeleen Doucleff


While in the midst of parenting a feisty toddler, NPR correspondent, Michaeleen Doucleff was covering medical stories in remote areas of the world. An exhausted and slightly strung-out new mom, Doucleff noticed distinct differences in the parenting practices of cultures she visited and those she was trying to uphold in her home in San Francisco. So she shifted gears and immersed herself, with her two-year-old in tow, in three cultures — the Maya, the Hadzabe, and the Inuit, all of which excel in instilling confidence, kindness, and helpfulness in their children.


What Doucleff experienced and learned as she lived with families in these three cultures is quite simply profound. She saw firsthand how her host families interacted differently with her daughter, Rosy, who blossomed as a result. As Doucleff began to internalize different parenting practices, she also found that her relationship with Rosy transformed. 


It’s worth noting that none of the cultures Doucleff experienced are frozen in time: the families have smartphones, children have plenty of screen time, junk food exists, and the kids still have to get out the door to get to school on time. However, a significant difference that Doucleff found is that the families’ parenting is grounded in thousands (perhaps tens of thousands) of years of tradition that support the gentle and kind growth of helpful, self-sufficient little humans. 


One of the most endearing parts of the book is Doucleff’s vulnerability in sharing her parenting challenges. So often we want to keep those parenting fails tucked away within the confines of our home and feel mortified when they rear their heads in the drop-off line or at a play date. Doucelff shares the messy details with honesty and in the process inspires a whole new level of compassion for what it means to parent in the Western world where we don’t necessarily have easy access to our extended families, a wide social safety net, and long-standing traditions that support our parenting journey. 


With an engaging narrative flow, Hunt, Gather, Parent offers a clear organization of four core elements that comprise a common thread of what Doucleff calls a universal (non-Western) approach to parenting. Plus, in each section, she offers practical steps for trying out these different elements, including ways to “dip your toe” into the approach, as well as ways to “jump in.” 


While Doucleff wrote the book to explore how to better connect with and support her toddler, the concepts and advice apply for all-aged children (and even work for teens and pre-teens!). The results are stunning. Even just dipping your toe into a few strategies is transformative. 


If there is one book to make sure you read this summer, this is it!


13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don't Do: Raising Self-Assured Children and Training Their Brains for a Life of Happiness, Meaning, and Success

by Amy Morin 


So often we want to rescue our children, clear the path for their success, and ensure they are happy. But in the process, are we helping them develop the internal skills they will need throughout life? 


After experiencing a series of personal tragedies, Amy Morin, a clinical social worker, psychotherapist, and foster parent, began thinking about what helps people be resilient.  Ultimately this led to her book, 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do. As people read her book, she heard time and time again that readers wished they had learned the skills of mental strength and resilience from an early age. So she created this incredibly helpful guide for parents and caregivers.


Each chapter is devoted to what to avoid so that good, healthy habits can be cultivated. The 13 things mentally strong parents don’t do are:


  1. They Don’t Condone a Victim Mentality
  2. They Don’t Parent out of Guilt
  3. They Don’t Make Their Child the Center of the Universe
  4. They Don’t Allow Fear to Dictate Their Choices
  5. They Don’t Give Their Child Power Over Them
  6. They Don’t Expect Perfection
  7. They Don’t Let Their Child Avoid Responsibility
  8. They Don’t Shield Their Child from Pain
  9. They Don’t Feel Responsible for Their Child’s Emotions
  10. They Don’t Prevent Their Child from Making Mistakes
  11. They Don’t Confuse Discipline with Punishment
  12. They Don’t Take Shortcuts to Avoid Discomfort
  13. They Don’t Lose Sight of Their Values


To make it manageable, Morin provides real-life examples and breaks them down to examine any underlying problems and key issues. She also provides a little self-reflective opportunity for readers to take a look at how these issues might come up in our personal and parenting lives, before then examining why we might be falling into some unhelpful patterns. 


With a better grasp of what we are doing and why, Morin helps us look at how each approach can affect our children in the long run and what we can do instead. Every chapter is full of concrete techniques and steps, as well as troubleshooting guidelines and common traps. To drive the message home, Morin recaps each of the 13 points with what is and isn’t helpful. 


If you need a straightforward, easy-to-digest guide to changing some parenting habits, this is the book for you!


No More Mean Girls: The Secret to Raising Strong, Confident, and Compassionate Girls

By Katie Hurley


Many of the books written to address the “mean girl” dynamic are geared toward pre-teens and teens. However, in her work, child and adolescent psychotherapist, Katie Hurley, observed more and more of this “mean girl” dynamic starting as early as age three. Even though they are in the midst of these inter0actions, our young girls don’t necessarily have the skills to cope with such sophisticated social challenges.


Recognizing that these difficult topics can also feel overwhelming for parents and caregivers, Hurley breaks down the components of how we can support our young girls in a variety of ways. In addition to digging into the bigger concepts – such as developing healthy friendships, distinguishing between likability and popularity, building an authentic self, having a voice and expressing yourself, and developing leadership skills and social responsibility – Hurley weaves in two key ways to practice concrete support through sections she calls “Parent-Teacher Conference” and “Girls Can!” 


The Parent-Teacher Conference boxes offer key points to digest, look for, or try. They are incredibly helpful as touch-points throughout the book and offer an easy-to-access way to flip back and reconnect with essential elements of each chapter. The Girls Can! sections provide games and activities to try with the girls in your life, as well as ways to introduce concepts we might not be used to talking about. 


While this is primarily a guide for parents of girls ages three to thirteen, so much also applies to our boys, especially those who are perhaps more sensitive. Incredibly practical and chock full of what to do, this is the type of book in which you’ll thoroughly dog-ear the pages!



We’d love to hear what you think of these books! Please reach out to schedule a visit and we can talk more about parenting challenges and how we can support you. 


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In Montessori education, we emphasize community, not just as an abstract concept, but as a lived daily experience. From the very beginning of life, we emphasize carefully prepared environments that foster a deep sense of belonging and connection. What Is Community? The word community comes from the Latin communis , meaning “common, public, general, or shared by all or many.” In addition to shared space, in Montessori, we also think about community as a shared sense of meaning, values, and connection. At its core, community begins with the most fundamental human group: the family. Families form children’s first social experience and the first place where values, culture, and expectations are passed down. This bond has helped humans survive and thrive throughout history. Partnering with Families In the Montessori approach, we honor and respect each family's unique values, striving to foster strong home-school relationships. Our partnership with families is a mutual journey—one in which the adult caregivers at school and home come together with a shared purpose: to nurture children’s natural growth. Building the Toddler Community We design our learning environments—both indoors and outdoors—to meet each child where they are, providing just the right level of challenge, comfort, and beauty. In creating community, we focus on essential, concrete elements like people, space, and materials, while also attending to intangible aspects that provide a profound sense of order. The People : The adults—both the lead guide and trained assistants—focus on personal and professional preparation. Their role is not to direct the child but to support their natural development with presence, purpose, and peacefulness. The Space : The physical environment must be appropriately sized, thoughtfully arranged, and aesthetically pleasing. If it’s too large, children can feel lost or overstimulated. If it’s too small, they may feel crowded and unsettled. We design every detail—from the furniture to the flow of the day—with intention. The Materials : Everything in the classroom is purposeful, developmentally appropriate, and in harmony with Montessori principles. We carefully select materials to support children’s movement, independence, concentration, and sense of order. Profound Order : A true Montessori community also relies on an invisible but essential structure: the order that underlies everything. Children have a fundamental need for order, especially during the first six years of life when they are in their sensitive period for order. External order—seen in routines, consistent expectations, and a well-organized space—helps children form inner order, which is the foundation of emotional regulation, concentration, and autonomy. If children do not experience order in their lives, they must expend energy trying to create it—energy that should instead be used for self-construction. That is why order must exist not just in the physical environment, but also in the adults’ behavior and in the flow of the day. A sense of control, predictability, and respect enables toddlers to flourish as they begin to form their personalities. The Role of the Prepared Adult As we create and cultivate our learning communities, we also recognize the significance of our role as adults in creating a community where toddlers feel safe, supported, and free to grow. While we play a critical role in creating and maintaining a beautiful environment, we also recognize that it belongs to the children for their growth and development. To ensure that we support this development, we strive to master the art of observation, which enables us to identify what children need to aid their growth. With a deep understanding of the purpose of every material in the classroom, we can then connect children to meaningful work through intentional and respectful presentations. We also practice humility, recognizing that children are often more in tune with their needs than we are. Our work with toddlers requires us to respect each child’s human potential, even when behavior is challenging, and to love unconditionally, accepting children for who they are, not who we want them to be. This practice means that we regularly reflect on our own work, always striving to improve so that we can better serve the children. A Living, Breathing Community Creating a Montessori community for toddlers is both an art and a science that requires intentional environments, well-prepared adults, and a deep respect for children’s developmental journey. At its heart, the Montessori Toddler Community is a shared space where children learn how to be in the world—together. It is here they first experience what it means to belong, to contribute, and to grow with others. Schedule a visit to see what an intentionally designed community looks like in action!