Our Montessori Bookshelf: The Parent Corner
June 3, 2024
Our Montessori Bookshelf: The Parent Corner

This summer is a great time to carve out a little adult time and disappear into some good books! While we certainly advocate for some mindless escape, we also recognize that all the extra time with family might mean you’d like some parenting resources, too!


With that in mind, we’re sharing a few of our recent favorite resources for parents and caregivers. While these aren’t specifically Montessori books, they are so aligned with what we do that we just had to share! 


Hunt, Gather, Parent: What Ancient Cultures Can Teach Us About the Lost Art of Raising Happy, Helpful Little Humans

by Michaeleen Doucleff


While in the midst of parenting a feisty toddler, NPR correspondent, Michaeleen Doucleff was covering medical stories in remote areas of the world. An exhausted and slightly strung-out new mom, Doucleff noticed distinct differences in the parenting practices of cultures she visited and those she was trying to uphold in her home in San Francisco. So she shifted gears and immersed herself, with her two-year-old in tow, in three cultures — the Maya, the Hadzabe, and the Inuit, all of which excel in instilling confidence, kindness, and helpfulness in their children.


What Doucleff experienced and learned as she lived with families in these three cultures is quite simply profound. She saw firsthand how her host families interacted differently with her daughter, Rosy, who blossomed as a result. As Doucleff began to internalize different parenting practices, she also found that her relationship with Rosy transformed. 


It’s worth noting that none of the cultures Doucleff experienced are frozen in time: the families have smartphones, children have plenty of screen time, junk food exists, and the kids still have to get out the door to get to school on time. However, a significant difference that Doucleff found is that the families’ parenting is grounded in thousands (perhaps tens of thousands) of years of tradition that support the gentle and kind growth of helpful, self-sufficient little humans. 


One of the most endearing parts of the book is Doucleff’s vulnerability in sharing her parenting challenges. So often we want to keep those parenting fails tucked away within the confines of our home and feel mortified when they rear their heads in the drop-off line or at a play date. Doucelff shares the messy details with honesty and in the process inspires a whole new level of compassion for what it means to parent in the Western world where we don’t necessarily have easy access to our extended families, a wide social safety net, and long-standing traditions that support our parenting journey. 


With an engaging narrative flow, Hunt, Gather, Parent offers a clear organization of four core elements that comprise a common thread of what Doucleff calls a universal (non-Western) approach to parenting. Plus, in each section, she offers practical steps for trying out these different elements, including ways to “dip your toe” into the approach, as well as ways to “jump in.” 


While Doucleff wrote the book to explore how to better connect with and support her toddler, the concepts and advice apply for all-aged children (and even work for teens and pre-teens!). The results are stunning. Even just dipping your toe into a few strategies is transformative. 


If there is one book to make sure you read this summer, this is it!


13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don't Do: Raising Self-Assured Children and Training Their Brains for a Life of Happiness, Meaning, and Success

by Amy Morin 


So often we want to rescue our children, clear the path for their success, and ensure they are happy. But in the process, are we helping them develop the internal skills they will need throughout life? 


After experiencing a series of personal tragedies, Amy Morin, a clinical social worker, psychotherapist, and foster parent, began thinking about what helps people be resilient.  Ultimately this led to her book, 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do. As people read her book, she heard time and time again that readers wished they had learned the skills of mental strength and resilience from an early age. So she created this incredibly helpful guide for parents and caregivers.


Each chapter is devoted to what to avoid so that good, healthy habits can be cultivated. The 13 things mentally strong parents don’t do are:


  1. They Don’t Condone a Victim Mentality
  2. They Don’t Parent out of Guilt
  3. They Don’t Make Their Child the Center of the Universe
  4. They Don’t Allow Fear to Dictate Their Choices
  5. They Don’t Give Their Child Power Over Them
  6. They Don’t Expect Perfection
  7. They Don’t Let Their Child Avoid Responsibility
  8. They Don’t Shield Their Child from Pain
  9. They Don’t Feel Responsible for Their Child’s Emotions
  10. They Don’t Prevent Their Child from Making Mistakes
  11. They Don’t Confuse Discipline with Punishment
  12. They Don’t Take Shortcuts to Avoid Discomfort
  13. They Don’t Lose Sight of Their Values


To make it manageable, Morin provides real-life examples and breaks them down to examine any underlying problems and key issues. She also provides a little self-reflective opportunity for readers to take a look at how these issues might come up in our personal and parenting lives, before then examining why we might be falling into some unhelpful patterns. 


With a better grasp of what we are doing and why, Morin helps us look at how each approach can affect our children in the long run and what we can do instead. Every chapter is full of concrete techniques and steps, as well as troubleshooting guidelines and common traps. To drive the message home, Morin recaps each of the 13 points with what is and isn’t helpful. 


If you need a straightforward, easy-to-digest guide to changing some parenting habits, this is the book for you!


No More Mean Girls: The Secret to Raising Strong, Confident, and Compassionate Girls

By Katie Hurley


Many of the books written to address the “mean girl” dynamic are geared toward pre-teens and teens. However, in her work, child and adolescent psychotherapist, Katie Hurley, observed more and more of this “mean girl” dynamic starting as early as age three. Even though they are in the midst of these inter0actions, our young girls don’t necessarily have the skills to cope with such sophisticated social challenges.


Recognizing that these difficult topics can also feel overwhelming for parents and caregivers, Hurley breaks down the components of how we can support our young girls in a variety of ways. In addition to digging into the bigger concepts – such as developing healthy friendships, distinguishing between likability and popularity, building an authentic self, having a voice and expressing yourself, and developing leadership skills and social responsibility – Hurley weaves in two key ways to practice concrete support through sections she calls “Parent-Teacher Conference” and “Girls Can!” 


The Parent-Teacher Conference boxes offer key points to digest, look for, or try. They are incredibly helpful as touch-points throughout the book and offer an easy-to-access way to flip back and reconnect with essential elements of each chapter. The Girls Can! sections provide games and activities to try with the girls in your life, as well as ways to introduce concepts we might not be used to talking about. 


While this is primarily a guide for parents of girls ages three to thirteen, so much also applies to our boys, especially those who are perhaps more sensitive. Incredibly practical and chock full of what to do, this is the type of book in which you’ll thoroughly dog-ear the pages!



We’d love to hear what you think of these books! Please reach out to schedule a visit and we can talk more about parenting challenges and how we can support you. 


Teacher reading with young children, modeling attentive adult presence in early learning.
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Child using color-coded word cards to explore pronouns in a Montessori language activity.
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When children begin working with pronouns in Montessori, they are not learning something entirely new. Instead, they are bringing to consciousness language they already use every day. Pronoun work builds slowly and intentionally. It is not about mastering grammar rules, but about understanding how language functions and how meaning is carried when words stand in for one another. Beginning With Experience, Not Explanation Montessori pronoun work begins with movement and spoken language, not written grammar. We start with little oral games to highlight how a pronoun functions, sometimes eliminating the pronoun (“Josie and John and Jack and Josiah are walking around the table.”) and other times emphasizing the pronoun (“They are walking around the table.”). The children love acting out the phrases, sometimes chanting, moving, watching one another, and laughing. Through these physical experiences, they begin to notice that we don’t always use names when we speak. Certain words take the place of a noun, and the meaning is still clear. At this stage, we don’t offer the term pronoun because we want children to simply experience its function. From Movement to Sentences Once children are ready for more structured language work, we introduce them to the Pronoun Grammar Box so they can build and rebuild sentences using color-coded cards for each part of speech. From one sentence to the next, only a few words change as nouns get replaced by pronouns. By comparing sentences, children discover that although the word changes, the sentence still makes sense. This comparison is essential. Rather than being told what a pronoun is, children see what it does. We then invite children to add grammar symbols to the sentence (noun, article, adjective, verb, preposition, adverb) until we finally draw attention to the remaining word: “This word is used in place of a noun.” Only then do we introduce the pronoun symbol: a purple isosceles triangle, the height of the noun symbol. Montessori Lore: The Pronoun’s Story There’s a beloved story about the pronoun symbol. Long ago, the pronoun was shorter and a different color. Wanting to be as important as the noun, it stretched itself taller and taller to reach the same height. As it stretched, its base became smaller and it turned purple from the effort of standing in the noun’s place. It’s a poetic reminder of what children discover through their work: a pronoun depends on the noun, borrowing its meaning while standing in for it. Why Pronouns Come Later Pronouns are more abstract than other parts of speech. To understand a pronoun, children must already have a strong, concrete understanding of the noun. For this reason, pronouns (along with interjections) are typically introduced later than other grammar symbols, often in the elementary years. Even then, one lesson is not enough. In Montessori, the real learning happens after the presentation, when we step back and children work independently with the material. The guide’s role is to show how to use the material, not to explain grammar in detail. Understanding emerges through repeated use. Deepening Understanding Through Play and Exploration As children grow more confident, the work expands to include: Transposition games, where pronouns are removed or replaced to explore how meaning changes. Command cards, which physically isolate pronouns through action. Personal pronoun charts, introducing first, second, and third person (singular and plural) through storytelling. The Verb Family, where children explore the close relationship between the verb, adverb, and pronoun. Children discover that pronouns often work closely with verbs, helping to carry action and meaning through a sentence. Subtleties Come Later At first, Montessori avoids getting caught in fine distinctions. Over time, children may explore nuances such as the difference between possessive pronouns (the book is mine) and possessive adjectives (my book). These discussions often happen later, sometimes with the support of grammar references, once children have a solid foundation. Language Revealed, Not Taught Through this carefully layered progression of movement, sentence work, symbols, and exploration, children develop a deep understanding of how words function differently in sentences. Montessori grammar invites children to discover how language works at their own pace through hands-on exploration. We don’t rush this process. So by the time children are ready to name the pronoun, it’s not a new idea. It’s something they already know. We invite you to visit our classrooms in Delran, New Jersey to see firsthand the children’s joy of learning!