Our Montessori Bookshelf: Cultivating Emotional Intelligence this Valentine’s Day
February 12, 2024

Valentine’s Day is just around the corner and it’s a great time to highlight social-emotional skills. A great place to start is empathy. Showing care and compassion is critical in relationship-building and forming strong connections. The cornerstones of empathy are being able to understand and appreciate others’ perspectives and having a shared emotional response.


Books are a tremendous tool for helping our young people develop social-emotional skills. One analogy for why this is the case is how books can be mirrors, windows, and sliding glass doors. When we see our lives reflected in the pages of a book, the book is like a mirror of our experience. When we view lives and stories that are different from our own, books are like windows that allow us to see new vistas. When we feel transported into the story and feel empathy for the characters, books become sliding glass doors that allow us to step into new worlds of understanding.


To celebrate the social-emotional opportunities this Valentine’s Day offers us, we are sharing some of our favorite books that cultivate emotional intelligence. We hope you can share them with your children and explore how they are like windows, mirrors, or sliding glass doors!


Anh’s Anger

By Gail Silver, Illustrated by Christiane Krömer


Big emotional reactions can be hard to understand. This story helps illustrate how anger is just one part of us. If we can give that part the attention it needs, we can take care of the feeling rather than letting it control us. This story also shows the power of adults staying calm and controlled in the face of big feelings. Illustrated with handmade collages, the images create a textured representation of Anh’s experience. Note: Due to having the anger characterized as an external monster, this book is most appropriate for children aged five and up.


A Book of Feelings: Starring Sam, Kate, and Fuzzy Bean

By Amanda McCardie, Illustrated by Salvatore Rubbino


This story starts with two children, their dog, the love in their family, and the emotion of feeling happy. Then through the ups and downs of changes, arguments, loss, and more, we travel through a variety of emotions that emerge in children’s lives. Although the text and images are simple, the content moves into the complexity of what we can feel in our lives. The author shares some helpful questions to explore at the end of the book and an index identifies which pages highlight the different emotions: angry, cross, embarrassed, frightened, grumpy, happy, hurt, jealous, loved, loving, nervous, sad, shy, and upset. This is a book that can be revisited many times as children grapple with different feelings. 


Because Brian Hugged His Mother

By David L. Rice, Illustrated by K. Dibble Thompson


With one act of kindness at the beginning of the day, Brian initiates a domino effect of good feelings and actions. Each act leads to different kinds of positivity which then leads to more kind actions! This is a great book to share to counteract when children get caught up in a cycle of negative feelings and actions. The best part is how all the goodness returns (like good karma!) to Brian at the end of the day. And because Brian goes to sleep feeling loved, he wakes up feeling great, which sets up the day to start with another lovely act of kindness!


Bravo Anjali!

By Sheetal Sheth, Illustrated by Lucia Soto


All too often girls are navigating how to balance doing something well with being liked. In this story, Anjali is shining in a traditionally male space, which brings taunts and disdain from her closest friend. Fortunately, an older girl reminds Anjali to never dim her light which helps Anjali stay true to her passion. In the process, she inspires a younger girl to see what is possible. This story is also an excellent one to share to help children understand what can be behind unkind behaviors and how it is possible to make amends after not-so-great choices. 


A Friend Like You

By Frank Murphy and Charnaie Gordon, Illustrated by Kayla Harren


This celebration of friendships highlights the multifaceted nature of connecting with people and how we gain so much in the process. If you have young people in your life who are discovering what it means to make friends and, perhaps even more importantly, what it means to be a friend, this is a must-read. The vivid, diverse, and inspiring illustrations bring this book to life and also offer a vision of what is possible in this world!


Jabari Jumps

By Gaia Cornwall


With sweetness and simplicity, this book follows a young boy’s excitement and nervousness about jumping off a diving board. With support from his dad, Jabari works through some helpful tools for managing his feelings. The reassurance that it is okay to feel a little scared (plus ideas for how to help that feeling shift into something positive) is helpful for our little ones (and even for us as adults!). 


Listening with my Heart: A Story of Kindness and Self-Compassion

By Gabi Garcia, Illustrated by Ying Hui Tan


So often children’s books focus on everything going right. Yet how we handle ourselves, including our self-talk, in the face of disappointments and mistakes is important for emotional regulation. This is a story of Esperanza’s day: from her excitement about her part in the play, to her awareness of spreading love and kindness, to her heartbreak when she feels like she’s ruined the play, to her realization that we also need to be loving and kind to ourselves. This story can be read again and again, during good days and days that stink. The resources at the end of the book are also incredibly valuable for helping our children develop self-compassion and positive self-talk. 


The Many Colors of Harpreet Singh

By Supriya Kelkar, Illustrated by Alea Marley


Change is hard for children. When Harpreet Singh’s family moves, he has to leave the place he knows. As a result, the colors he uses to express himself fade into a white, colorless, shy need to not be seen. However, one small connection to a classmate changes everything for Harpreet. This story is an excellent reminder of the power of friendship and the importance of small acts of connection. The author’s note at the end also provides a window into why Harpreet’s patka (a specific style of turban for young boys) represents important values of equality.


My Cold Plum Lemon Pie Bluesy Mood

By Tameka Fryer Brown, Illustrated by Shane W. Evans


Navigating the ups and downs of family life can bring up all sorts of feelings. The shifting colors of one boy’s mood come to life in the jazzy prose of this book: from a gloomy gray when brothers get pushy, to gentle green from a little sister’s smile, to racing red to get home before dark. Despite the challenges, everything comes full circle as the family comes together. A bonus to this book is that the author is a Montessori mom!


Ruby Finds a Worry

By Tom Percival


This is a helpful picture book for young children who are struggling with any kind of worry or anxiety. The concept of a “worry” is materialized as a little fuzzy blob that grows over time and becomes ever-present for Ruby as she goes about her days. And the more Ruby worries about her worry, the larger it grows. Finally, Ruby encounters a boy sitting alone with his own worry. As Ruby and the boy express and share their worries, they realize that their worries shrink to the point of non-existence! Note: Due to having the “worry” externalized in a fantasy-based way, this book is best for children aged five and up.


Sometimes I Feel Like a Mouse: A Book About Feelings

By Jeanne Modest, Illustrated by Robin Spowart


Simple and straightforward, this picture book demonstrates feelings through similes. The text is large and clear with the emotion words highlighted in colors that coordinate with the feelings. This is a great introductory book for our younger children and helps set the stage for identifying and naming how we feel at different times.


When Sophie Gets Angry–Really, Really Angry…

By Molly Bang


This Caldecott Honor Book is a must-have. Molly Bang uses color and image to show the shift into surprise, hurt, and then intense anger at the unfairness of an interaction with a sibling. A volcano ready to explode, Sophie slams the door and runs straight into nature. It is here that cool colors begin to ease and soothe. She finds a place of calm that allows her to reenter her home with love. 



We hope these books offer you and your children new ways to explore the many aspects of our emotional lives. You can
click here to download a printable booklist. We also invite you to schedule a tour to see how social-emotional learning is woven into the fabric of Montessori classrooms.


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Child using color-coded word cards to explore pronouns in a Montessori language activity.
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When children begin working with pronouns in Montessori, they are not learning something entirely new. Instead, they are bringing to consciousness language they already use every day. Pronoun work builds slowly and intentionally. It is not about mastering grammar rules, but about understanding how language functions and how meaning is carried when words stand in for one another. Beginning With Experience, Not Explanation Montessori pronoun work begins with movement and spoken language, not written grammar. We start with little oral games to highlight how a pronoun functions, sometimes eliminating the pronoun (“Josie and John and Jack and Josiah are walking around the table.”) and other times emphasizing the pronoun (“They are walking around the table.”). The children love acting out the phrases, sometimes chanting, moving, watching one another, and laughing. Through these physical experiences, they begin to notice that we don’t always use names when we speak. Certain words take the place of a noun, and the meaning is still clear. At this stage, we don’t offer the term pronoun because we want children to simply experience its function. From Movement to Sentences Once children are ready for more structured language work, we introduce them to the Pronoun Grammar Box so they can build and rebuild sentences using color-coded cards for each part of speech. From one sentence to the next, only a few words change as nouns get replaced by pronouns. By comparing sentences, children discover that although the word changes, the sentence still makes sense. This comparison is essential. Rather than being told what a pronoun is, children see what it does. We then invite children to add grammar symbols to the sentence (noun, article, adjective, verb, preposition, adverb) until we finally draw attention to the remaining word: “This word is used in place of a noun.” Only then do we introduce the pronoun symbol: a purple isosceles triangle, the height of the noun symbol. Montessori Lore: The Pronoun’s Story There’s a beloved story about the pronoun symbol. Long ago, the pronoun was shorter and a different color. Wanting to be as important as the noun, it stretched itself taller and taller to reach the same height. As it stretched, its base became smaller and it turned purple from the effort of standing in the noun’s place. It’s a poetic reminder of what children discover through their work: a pronoun depends on the noun, borrowing its meaning while standing in for it. Why Pronouns Come Later Pronouns are more abstract than other parts of speech. To understand a pronoun, children must already have a strong, concrete understanding of the noun. For this reason, pronouns (along with interjections) are typically introduced later than other grammar symbols, often in the elementary years. Even then, one lesson is not enough. In Montessori, the real learning happens after the presentation, when we step back and children work independently with the material. The guide’s role is to show how to use the material, not to explain grammar in detail. Understanding emerges through repeated use. Deepening Understanding Through Play and Exploration As children grow more confident, the work expands to include: Transposition games, where pronouns are removed or replaced to explore how meaning changes. Command cards, which physically isolate pronouns through action. Personal pronoun charts, introducing first, second, and third person (singular and plural) through storytelling. The Verb Family, where children explore the close relationship between the verb, adverb, and pronoun. Children discover that pronouns often work closely with verbs, helping to carry action and meaning through a sentence. Subtleties Come Later At first, Montessori avoids getting caught in fine distinctions. Over time, children may explore nuances such as the difference between possessive pronouns (the book is mine) and possessive adjectives (my book). These discussions often happen later, sometimes with the support of grammar references, once children have a solid foundation. Language Revealed, Not Taught Through this carefully layered progression of movement, sentence work, symbols, and exploration, children develop a deep understanding of how words function differently in sentences. Montessori grammar invites children to discover how language works at their own pace through hands-on exploration. We don’t rush this process. So by the time children are ready to name the pronoun, it’s not a new idea. It’s something they already know. We invite you to visit our classrooms in Delran, New Jersey to see firsthand the children’s joy of learning!