From Independence to Interdependence
September 5, 2022

In Montessori, we talk a lot about independence. However, one of the lesser known or understood aspects of Montessori is that independence isn’t the end goal.

 

As humans, we are each wonderful, unique individuals. But we don’t exist in isolation. We live amongst other wonderful, unique individuals! In order to effectively live in community with other people, though, we need to be able to function independently. Said another way, before we can offer help to others or make ourselves useful, we need to be able to meet our own needs.

 

How can we be independent and interdependent at the same time?

 

We all want to make choices for ourselves, exercise our liberty, and be responsible for our own lives. At the same time, we also want to be part of something. We are designed to be both independent and be in community. These two needs are not mutually exclusive, but in fact, operate in relationship to each other. We have an innate desire to be autonomous and to belong.

 

When we develop the ability to act for ourselves, make choices, control ourselves, and accept responsibility, we are able to be functioning, contributing members of society. We can see what needs doing and do it because we have the skills to do so. We can work with others to create solutions or produce goods and services. We can be part of a community by acting and taking responsibility for our actions, each able to contribute because we all have the skills to do so.

 

What does this have to do with children and Montessori education?

 

From a very young age, children are trying to exert control over their lives. Children are trying to gain functional independence from birth to about age three. In Montessori classrooms, we offer all sorts of opportunities for young children to develop skills that help them take care of their basic needs. But we don’t stop there! We also provide so many ways children can care for others and for their surroundings.

 

Once children have mastered pouring from one pitcher to another, they are able to pour water into a vase and arrange flowers to beautify the classroom. After they learn how to sweep, they are quick to notice a spill and rush to get the dustpan and dust brush so they can help. When someone is struggling to zip their jacket, they take pride in sharing their newfound skill in service to someone else’s need.

 

As children move into the elementary years, this service to others often takes on a slightly different form, in part because elementary-age children are developing their intellectual independence. Thus, their contribution often involves applying these newfound intellectual skills. They might notice a classmate struggling to figure out the steps in a math problem and offer support. Or when friends are in conflict, they might provide some mediation to help each party listen to the others’ perspective.

 

In adolescence, young adults are ready to work toward being socially and economically independent. They want to figure out their place in society, grapple with real problems, and contribute in a useful way. Thus, Montessori adolescent programs offer teens the chance to develop and feel secure in their own abilities while also collaborating in real and meaningful social endeavors. In the process of running a small business, for example, adolescents are applying their intellectual skills from marketing to mathematics, while also navigating how to communicate with customers and collaborate with classmates.

 

Why is this important?

 

As humans, we want to achieve independence and belonging. Being independent is about learning the skills to be able to contribute in a meaningful way. All the little conquests of independence–throughout each age and stage of development–matter! When our infant reaches to grasp an object, our two-year-old demands to put their shirt on themselves, our eight-year-old argues about just and fair rules of a game, or our adolescent insists they can solve a problem with their peers, we can remember that these acts of independence are laying a foundation for our children to become part of an interdependent, harmonious society.

 

Independence is just a step. Interdependence is the ultimate goal.

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In Montessori education, we emphasize community, not just as an abstract concept, but as a lived daily experience. From the very beginning of life, we emphasize carefully prepared environments that foster a deep sense of belonging and connection. What Is Community? The word community comes from the Latin communis , meaning “common, public, general, or shared by all or many.” In addition to shared space, in Montessori, we also think about community as a shared sense of meaning, values, and connection. At its core, community begins with the most fundamental human group: the family. Families form children’s first social experience and the first place where values, culture, and expectations are passed down. This bond has helped humans survive and thrive throughout history. Partnering with Families In the Montessori approach, we honor and respect each family's unique values, striving to foster strong home-school relationships. Our partnership with families is a mutual journey—one in which the adult caregivers at school and home come together with a shared purpose: to nurture children’s natural growth. Building the Toddler Community We design our learning environments—both indoors and outdoors—to meet each child where they are, providing just the right level of challenge, comfort, and beauty. In creating community, we focus on essential, concrete elements like people, space, and materials, while also attending to intangible aspects that provide a profound sense of order. The People : The adults—both the lead guide and trained assistants—focus on personal and professional preparation. Their role is not to direct the child but to support their natural development with presence, purpose, and peacefulness. The Space : The physical environment must be appropriately sized, thoughtfully arranged, and aesthetically pleasing. If it’s too large, children can feel lost or overstimulated. If it’s too small, they may feel crowded and unsettled. We design every detail—from the furniture to the flow of the day—with intention. The Materials : Everything in the classroom is purposeful, developmentally appropriate, and in harmony with Montessori principles. We carefully select materials to support children’s movement, independence, concentration, and sense of order. Profound Order : A true Montessori community also relies on an invisible but essential structure: the order that underlies everything. Children have a fundamental need for order, especially during the first six years of life when they are in their sensitive period for order. External order—seen in routines, consistent expectations, and a well-organized space—helps children form inner order, which is the foundation of emotional regulation, concentration, and autonomy. If children do not experience order in their lives, they must expend energy trying to create it—energy that should instead be used for self-construction. That is why order must exist not just in the physical environment, but also in the adults’ behavior and in the flow of the day. A sense of control, predictability, and respect enables toddlers to flourish as they begin to form their personalities. The Role of the Prepared Adult As we create and cultivate our learning communities, we also recognize the significance of our role as adults in creating a community where toddlers feel safe, supported, and free to grow. While we play a critical role in creating and maintaining a beautiful environment, we also recognize that it belongs to the children for their growth and development. To ensure that we support this development, we strive to master the art of observation, which enables us to identify what children need to aid their growth. With a deep understanding of the purpose of every material in the classroom, we can then connect children to meaningful work through intentional and respectful presentations. We also practice humility, recognizing that children are often more in tune with their needs than we are. Our work with toddlers requires us to respect each child’s human potential, even when behavior is challenging, and to love unconditionally, accepting children for who they are, not who we want them to be. This practice means that we regularly reflect on our own work, always striving to improve so that we can better serve the children. A Living, Breathing Community Creating a Montessori community for toddlers is both an art and a science that requires intentional environments, well-prepared adults, and a deep respect for children’s developmental journey. At its heart, the Montessori Toddler Community is a shared space where children learn how to be in the world—together. It is here they first experience what it means to belong, to contribute, and to grow with others. Schedule a visit to see what an intentionally designed community looks like in action!