The First Six Years: Conquests of Independence
June 5, 2023
As caregivers and parents, we have a bit of a bittersweet role. While we want to keep our children close, we ultimately need to support their path toward independence.
We expect dependence at the beginning. Yet our newborns take their very first step toward independence at birth. Once born, they have to breathe on their own. And rather than get nutrition through the umbilical cord, they use effort to begin latching on or suckling.
Throughout their first six years of life, our children achieve so many milestones of independence. Let’s take a look at some of these conquests of independence. You can use this framework as a guide and reminder of how we can support our children as they grow and develop.
Birth to One Year
- The first conquest of independence is birth which comes with the cutting of the umbilical cord. At this point, infants must breathe and gain nutrition on their own. Even our expression “It’s time to cut the cord” indicates the shift to increased independence.
- Movement is another acquisition of independence in the first year as children begin to use their arms and legs, sit up and crawl, and move from one place to another. With this increased locomotion children no longer need to be held or carried.
- Our children also begin to feed themselves. Even in the beginning when babies are nursing, we want them to indicate hunger. The weaning process and shift to using the weaning table supports this path to independence. As our children begin to eat and drink on their own, it is important to have foods and tools they can use independently (e.g. a shot glass for water, finger foods, etc.) rather than having an adult putting a utensil or bottle in their mouth.
- Children can also start to practice basic use of utensils. Having utensils that are child-sized and functional is key to independent use.
- In addition, our children need the opportunity to develop the ability to be by themselves. To become independent, they need to practice separating from their caregiver(s). Healthy separation depends upon healthy attachment, and our children need the chance to have some time without adult engagement.
- Around the end of the first year, children begin to develop language to communicate their needs. Prior to this time, they are able to use other methods to communicate: crying, cooing, smiling, etc. This communication is the beginning of social skills and children’s ability to relate socially to others.
One to Three Years
- During this time children can walk confidently and begin to run and climb. Once children can walk, they can begin the process of becoming independent in toileting.
- They become more independent with the use of their hands, which become tools for exploration. Because of this, children no longer need to rely on others to hold and carry items.
- Language use allows children to begin to express themselves independently.
- Children can start to become independent in dressing themselves.
- They begin to be able to use simple tools (crayons, sticks, cups, utensils, etc.).
- They become more capable of caring for their own personal hygiene (brushing their teeth, washing their face, brushing their hair, etc.).
- Children become more proficient with and capable of carrying their own items.
- They have the capacity to clean up after themselves (putting away belongings, folding clothing, wiping spills, sweeping crumbs, etc.).
As children get older, they need opportunities to develop their will. Thus, during this stage of independence, it is really important that children can make choices. Making a choice means they are acting for themselves and exercising their will.
From Three to Four and a Half
- If it hasn't happened already, children experience separation from the family (e.g. going to school). To be able to separate from one’s family is a new skill of independence. For children who haven’t been able to be by themselves, this is a harder process. During this time, children realize they can survive and trust others, which is a significant step in independence.
- Children develop a wider range of social skills.
- Children’s motor and visual skills become more developed and refined.
- They are able to engage in more games (e.g. catching and throwing a ball).
- They have finer manual dexterity (using individual fingers) as well as refined fine motor skills (when all fingers are working in unison).
- Children begin to develop the ability to use language to express their emotions. They can learn a multitude of words to be able to express feelings.
- They can use utensils and tools to prepare their own food (which ideally happens prior to age three). Research shows that children involved in preparing their own food are more likely to try diverse foods.
- Children learn to master fasteners (zippers, buckles, bows, etc.) and thus the self-care involved with dressing and undressing.
- They can contribute to their community and care not only for themselves but also for the environment through simple responsibilities like setting the table, folding towels, etc.
- They are more independent in caring for their own hygiene needs.
- Because their vocabulary is expanding, children can use words to express emotions, as well as to better express their thoughts.
Four and a Half to Six
- Children have more social independence and can not only do for themselves but can also use acquired skills to help others.
- They become more independent in their social skills so they can internalize and apply the social norms of their community (e.g. pushing in chairs, greeting visitors, communicating that they need space, etc.).
- Children become proficient in dressing themselves and can help younger peers with the dressing and undressing process (e.g. getting dressed for going outdoors).
- They acquire the capacity to have empathy and compassion.
- They have a basic understanding of quantities and how they are represented, instead of just mimicking or rote counting.
- Children begin to recognize and use the symbols of our language (e.g. expressing themselves through writing or interpreting the thoughts of others through reading).
These conquests of independence are ultimately about becoming functionally independent. Young children are in a process of mastering different aspects of their lives and they need us, their caregivers, to support them in this process.
Our children are so capable and they benefit when allowed to move toward increasing independence. If you’d like to see how our Montessori environments set children up for success, please schedule a tour!
Elementary-aged children have an innate desire to learn about the universe, the world, places, people, and how they interact. They yearn to understand why and how. They are eager to understand not only the culture in which they live but also make sense of the magnitude of cultures (human and non-human) that make up the entire world and, indeed, the entire cosmos. Dr. Maria Montessori developed Cosmic Education as a guiding framework for children in the second plane of development (ages 6 to 12). Comic Education is designed to nurture their reasoning minds and imagination while fostering a sense of interconnectedness and wonder. The Philosophy of Cosmic Education Dr. Montessori described Cosmic Education as an approach that offers children a vision of the universe and its order and a way to understand how all things are interrelated. “If the idea of the universe be presented to the child in the right way, it will do more for him than just arouse his interest, for it will create in him admiration and wonder... his intelligence becomes whole and complete because of the vision of the whole that has been presented to him.” – Dr. Maria Montessori To Educate the Human Potential Rather than teaching isolated subjects, Cosmic Education presents an integrated curriculum where history, science, geography, language, and math are interwoven into a grand narrative. This holistic approach helps children see themselves as part of both a larger human story and the natural world. The Scope of Cosmic Education Unlike traditional curricula focused on skills, facts, and assessments, Cosmic Education prioritizes deep exploration. As Montessori educators, we recognize that we are guides who plant seeds of interest, knowing that these seeds may germinate later in life. We encourage children to pursue knowledge freely, follow their curiosity, and make connections across disciplines. At its core, Cosmic Education is centered around key themes: Natural Laws: The universe follows natural laws, from gravity to the water cycle, which children observe and study. Human societies also create laws to maintain order and cooperation. Work & Contributions : Everything in nature and human civilization has a role to play. From the work of bees pollinating plants to the contributions of scientists and artists, children see how each element of the universe is purposeful. Interdependencies & Relationships : All systems in the universe, from ecosystems to human economies, are interconnected. Montessori education highlights these relationships to foster understanding and responsibility. Love, Appreciation, & Gratitude : Cosmic Education nurtures a sense of reverence for the universe, whether through scientific discovery or historical narratives. The Great Stories: A Foundation for Learning Cosmic Education is introduced through the Great Stories, a series of imaginative, inspiring tales we share with wonder and reference. These stories not only provide a tantalizing glimpse into the marvels of the universe, they also provide a framework for deeper study. In order to bring significant concepts to life, Montessori elementary guides appeal to students’ imagination through allegory, metaphor, beautiful language, charts, and dramatic demonstrations. The Great Stories include: The Creation of the Universe (“God with No Hands”) – An awe-inspiring story about the origins of the universe, the formation of galaxies, and the forces that shape our world. The Coming of Life – A journey through the evolutionary changes of life on Earth that culminates in an introduction to the fascinating Timeline of Life. The Story of Humans – Explores the unique intellectual and creative capacities of human beings, emphasizing imagination and innovation. The Story of Communication in Signs/The Story of Our Alphabet Story – Traces the development of written language, from ancient symbols to modern alphabets. The Story of Our Numerals – Highlights how mathematics is another kind of human language and introduces the power of math to bring order and exactness, including how math has allowed humans to meet their needs in different ways. These stories captivate children’s imaginations, prompting further exploration of subjects like physics, chemistry, history, and biology. They provide a unifying theme that integrates all areas of study, reinforcing the idea that learning is not fragmented but part of a cohesive whole. Outcomes of Cosmic Education Dr. Montessori’s vision of education extends beyond academics; it is about shaping compassionate, knowledgeable, and socially responsible individuals. She believed that understanding our place in the cosmos fosters humility, gratitude, and a commitment to improving the world. Through Cosmic Education, children develop: A sense of purpose, recognizing that their work and actions contribute to the greater whole. An organized and analytical mind, capable of seeing patterns and relationships in complex information. A deep appreciation for humanity and nature, encouraging them to become responsible stewards of the Earth. A lifelong love of learning, driven by curiosity rather than external rewards. Nurturing wonder, critical thinking, and interconnected understanding lays the foundation for a lifetime of meaningful learning and engagement with the world. Ultimately, Montessori’s Cosmic Education is more than a curriculum—it is a philosophy that empowers children to view themselves as active participants in the ongoing story of the universe. The best way to learn about Cosmic Education is to come see it in action! Schedule a tour today!
Help children navigate social conflicts with empathy and problem-solving. Learn how to reframe tattling, guide constructive conversations, and build independence!
