A Summer Path to Independence
May 20, 2024

Has your child ever vehemently resisted the idea of summer camp? Perhaps between not knowing anyone and having to try new things, they may think the experience is just short of sheer torture! 


In the face of our kids’ resistance, it can be hard to insist on our children’s engagement in a summer camp experience. But it’s important to remember the very real benefits of having broader social experiences, stretching in new ways, and trying new skills. 


Offering Clear Support 


In these moments when our children resist, it’s important to both acknowledge their feelings while also staying firm about what will happen. Often they have an underlying desire to take on a new challenge, and maybe are even experiencing some frustration, perhaps with their own fears and uncertainties. 


The process is a bit like what happens with infants on the cusp of crawling. They rock back and forth on their hands and knees, sometimes crying in exasperation. They want to crawl, to move toward some interesting object on the floor, but seem to feel unable to make that first move. 


A Path Toward Independence


From birth, our children are on a path toward independence. When they are very young we can clearly see the stages, from being held in arms to sitting, then from sitting to crawling to walking. We witness them begin to babble and then talk. With each new skill, our children develop self-confidence and learn what they are capable of achieving. 


The more children have the opportunity to confidently explore their environment, the more they master developmental tasks and establish new skills, all of which help to support a widening sense of independence.


The urge to become independent is strong. As adults, we can be supportive of this natural process, even when our children are entering into activities that feel challenging and even initially unattainable. 


Letting Go


If you are exploring summer camp as a step toward independence, be sure to check out Dr. Michael Thompson’s book, Homesick and Happy: How Time Away from Parents Can Help a Child Grow. Thompson clearly outlines how important it is for our children to have their own experiences, especially those that are not under parents’ purview.


This letting go can take great effort for both children and their parents. “Every child has to practice being independent,” reminds Thompson, “and every parent has to practice letting his or her child be independent.”


In order to achieve independence, children need to be able to experiment with what they can do and be able to accurately judge their own limitations and abilities. The summer camp experience, whether overnight or day programming, offers children this chance to push their limits, without worrying about varied reactions from parents. 


Their Own Experiences


Thompson conducted hundreds of interviews with campers and former campers for his book, Homesick and Happy, How Time Away from Parents Can Help a Child Grow. Overwhelmingly, children described how their camp experiences helped them realize how strong and competent they really are. Thompson reminds us of the importance of being away from home and out of parents’ loving, yet sometimes overbearing, watchful eye. “When children are away from their parents, they do not have to view their own life and achievements through the lens of my-athlete-father-standing-on-the-sidelines-watching-me or my-mother-is-worried-that-I’ll fail. When a child is on his own, the experience is his alone, the satisfaction belongs only to him and he does not have to filter it through what his parents think and feel.” When in a summer camp program, children can fail, learn, and succeed on their own terms.


With an engaged and expanded learning environment that is often extremely experiential, camps help our children realize new abilities and different ways to deal with challenges, which helps them feel more competent and capable. As a result, they build up their problem-solving skills and sense of agency. 


Opportunities Abound


In addition, our children get to form healthy new relationships, with peers and friends, as well as adults who are not their parents. In a summer camp atmosphere, children get to practice social skills in a relaxed environment and with adult leaders who can offer different kinds of guidance.


In addition to introducing new people and activities, camp experiences help children learn about their strengths, weaknesses, likes, and dislikes, all of which help them form a strong sense of identity. Finding their strength, as well as making hard-won progress in areas of difficulty, helps children build self-esteem and identify worthwhile hobbies and interests that they can continue to pursue as they get older.


Often children’s response after the camp experience speaks to their awareness of claiming their space and being aware of a parental reaction. For example, one eight-year-old, after the first day of camp, told her camp counselor: “Don’t tell my mom, but summer camp is really fun.”


This summer, let’s offer our children the opportunity to face something that might at first feel uncomfortable, but that offers them so much. 


Teacher reading with young children, modeling attentive adult presence in early learning.
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Child using color-coded word cards to explore pronouns in a Montessori language activity.
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When children begin working with pronouns in Montessori, they are not learning something entirely new. Instead, they are bringing to consciousness language they already use every day. Pronoun work builds slowly and intentionally. It is not about mastering grammar rules, but about understanding how language functions and how meaning is carried when words stand in for one another. Beginning With Experience, Not Explanation Montessori pronoun work begins with movement and spoken language, not written grammar. We start with little oral games to highlight how a pronoun functions, sometimes eliminating the pronoun (“Josie and John and Jack and Josiah are walking around the table.”) and other times emphasizing the pronoun (“They are walking around the table.”). The children love acting out the phrases, sometimes chanting, moving, watching one another, and laughing. Through these physical experiences, they begin to notice that we don’t always use names when we speak. Certain words take the place of a noun, and the meaning is still clear. At this stage, we don’t offer the term pronoun because we want children to simply experience its function. From Movement to Sentences Once children are ready for more structured language work, we introduce them to the Pronoun Grammar Box so they can build and rebuild sentences using color-coded cards for each part of speech. From one sentence to the next, only a few words change as nouns get replaced by pronouns. By comparing sentences, children discover that although the word changes, the sentence still makes sense. This comparison is essential. Rather than being told what a pronoun is, children see what it does. We then invite children to add grammar symbols to the sentence (noun, article, adjective, verb, preposition, adverb) until we finally draw attention to the remaining word: “This word is used in place of a noun.” Only then do we introduce the pronoun symbol: a purple isosceles triangle, the height of the noun symbol. Montessori Lore: The Pronoun’s Story There’s a beloved story about the pronoun symbol. Long ago, the pronoun was shorter and a different color. Wanting to be as important as the noun, it stretched itself taller and taller to reach the same height. As it stretched, its base became smaller and it turned purple from the effort of standing in the noun’s place. It’s a poetic reminder of what children discover through their work: a pronoun depends on the noun, borrowing its meaning while standing in for it. Why Pronouns Come Later Pronouns are more abstract than other parts of speech. To understand a pronoun, children must already have a strong, concrete understanding of the noun. For this reason, pronouns (along with interjections) are typically introduced later than other grammar symbols, often in the elementary years. Even then, one lesson is not enough. In Montessori, the real learning happens after the presentation, when we step back and children work independently with the material. The guide’s role is to show how to use the material, not to explain grammar in detail. Understanding emerges through repeated use. Deepening Understanding Through Play and Exploration As children grow more confident, the work expands to include: Transposition games, where pronouns are removed or replaced to explore how meaning changes. Command cards, which physically isolate pronouns through action. Personal pronoun charts, introducing first, second, and third person (singular and plural) through storytelling. The Verb Family, where children explore the close relationship between the verb, adverb, and pronoun. Children discover that pronouns often work closely with verbs, helping to carry action and meaning through a sentence. Subtleties Come Later At first, Montessori avoids getting caught in fine distinctions. Over time, children may explore nuances such as the difference between possessive pronouns (the book is mine) and possessive adjectives (my book). These discussions often happen later, sometimes with the support of grammar references, once children have a solid foundation. Language Revealed, Not Taught Through this carefully layered progression of movement, sentence work, symbols, and exploration, children develop a deep understanding of how words function differently in sentences. Montessori grammar invites children to discover how language works at their own pace through hands-on exploration. We don’t rush this process. So by the time children are ready to name the pronoun, it’s not a new idea. It’s something they already know. We invite you to visit our classrooms in Delran, New Jersey to see firsthand the children’s joy of learning!