A Healthy Relationship with Feedback
July 29, 2024

In Montessori, we want children to embrace mistakes as opportunities to understand how to improve. Our goal is for children to understand that feedback is important for knowing what still needs to be done and what still can be learned. 


What does feedback look like in Montessori classrooms?


We take care to cultivate a culture of feedback. Even at the early childhood level, we start this approach with a gentle noticing that allows children to begin to develop some self-assessment.


For example, when we see that someone has left their chair out, rather than reminding and instructing by saying something like, “Push in your chair,” we offer an observation, “I see that your chair is out.” By making a neutral observation, we provide children with the chance to notice and make a choice. They can make their own realization: “Oh, I forgot to push my chair in!” As a result, children can have agency in the process. 


In social situations, we can use similar reflections. When someone is unkind to a peer, we might say, “It looks like your friend/sibling/classmate is feeling hurt.” We can also wonder aloud: “I wonder what would help them feel better. Should we check?” Or “Would you like some help checking in with them?”


Ultimately, children want to do the right thing. But when we overinstruct or always dictate what should happen, we deprive children of the opportunity to develop their own inner drive to make the right choice and follow through with action.


How does Montessori support self-assessment? 


Many of the Montessori learning materials are “self-correcting” or have a built-in “control of error,” which means children can tell if they have done an activity inaccurately and try again without an adult needing to intervene. In our primary classrooms, the sensorial materials offer an excellent example of how the materials help children assess their own mistakes. If the largest cube isn’t used at the base of the pink tower, and then the next largest is placed progressively after, the tower won’t be stable. If the last knobbed cylinder doesn’t fit in the last space in the cylinder block, it’s clear that the pieces need to be rearranged.


Because the materials are designed to give feedback, children begin to learn early on that they can recognize, understand, correct, and learn from mistakes. As the materials get more advanced, children are able to use answer keys to check and correct their work. They can use control cards to see if they have used labels or identification markers accurately. Children are able to take control of their own learning and not rely on adult correction or judgment. The result? Children are motivated to try new things and take risks in their learning.


How does this approach work with more advanced academics?


As children get older and need feedback on essays or other work, we are careful about how we frame our responses. We recognize that our responses can significantly impact motivation, self-esteem, and a love of learning. Therefore, rather than emphasizing failure with red marks and X’s, we emphasize areas for growth. 


A focus on growth can start with noticing what is right. For example, perhaps an elementary-aged child is working through a series of geometry lessons and has tried to abstractly determine the area of different shapes. By noticing what has been mastered, we are providing feedback about areas of strength: “Wow! You really aced a number of questions about area. You must feel really confident with calculating the area of squares and rectangles!” 


Recognizing what is going well sends a message that students’ efforts are valuable and that their hard work toward mastery has an impact. It’s important to note that this is slightly different than praise. Rather, we are highlighting success instead of focusing on failures. It’s a subtle shift but one that makes a huge difference.


In addition, we ensure that any feedback offers room for students to revise and improve their work. Whether children are working on honing an essay or mastering long division, we ensure that they have the chance to incorporate the information, repeat or revise their attempts, and move toward mastery. 


In reality, children love checking and discussing their own answers! Their conversations about mistakes, corrections, and revisions are the place where really fruitful learning often happens. Older children typically enjoy debating and discussing wrong answers with each other. In the process, Montessori students begin to understand mistakes as a place to explore and grow, which ultimately strengthens their critical thinking skills. 


Why is a healthy approach to feedback beneficial?


The authors of Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well researched feedback and found that learning how to receive feedback effectively is key to healthy relationships and our professional lives. We want our students to develop a healthy and positive relationship with feedback so they understand that feedback is a gift that allows us to become better as people and at what we do.


Montessori children develop confidence and self-sufficiency through work with self-correcting materials, thoughtful space for revision and mastery, and intentional messaging from adults. They learn to appreciate opportunities for critical thinking and problem-solving. 


We invite you to come see how children embrace opportunities for growth and mastery. Schedule a tour today! We’d love to hear your feedback!



Teacher reading with young children, modeling attentive adult presence in early learning.
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Child using color-coded word cards to explore pronouns in a Montessori language activity.
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When children begin working with pronouns in Montessori, they are not learning something entirely new. Instead, they are bringing to consciousness language they already use every day. Pronoun work builds slowly and intentionally. It is not about mastering grammar rules, but about understanding how language functions and how meaning is carried when words stand in for one another. Beginning With Experience, Not Explanation Montessori pronoun work begins with movement and spoken language, not written grammar. We start with little oral games to highlight how a pronoun functions, sometimes eliminating the pronoun (“Josie and John and Jack and Josiah are walking around the table.”) and other times emphasizing the pronoun (“They are walking around the table.”). The children love acting out the phrases, sometimes chanting, moving, watching one another, and laughing. Through these physical experiences, they begin to notice that we don’t always use names when we speak. Certain words take the place of a noun, and the meaning is still clear. At this stage, we don’t offer the term pronoun because we want children to simply experience its function. From Movement to Sentences Once children are ready for more structured language work, we introduce them to the Pronoun Grammar Box so they can build and rebuild sentences using color-coded cards for each part of speech. From one sentence to the next, only a few words change as nouns get replaced by pronouns. By comparing sentences, children discover that although the word changes, the sentence still makes sense. This comparison is essential. Rather than being told what a pronoun is, children see what it does. We then invite children to add grammar symbols to the sentence (noun, article, adjective, verb, preposition, adverb) until we finally draw attention to the remaining word: “This word is used in place of a noun.” Only then do we introduce the pronoun symbol: a purple isosceles triangle, the height of the noun symbol. Montessori Lore: The Pronoun’s Story There’s a beloved story about the pronoun symbol. Long ago, the pronoun was shorter and a different color. Wanting to be as important as the noun, it stretched itself taller and taller to reach the same height. As it stretched, its base became smaller and it turned purple from the effort of standing in the noun’s place. It’s a poetic reminder of what children discover through their work: a pronoun depends on the noun, borrowing its meaning while standing in for it. Why Pronouns Come Later Pronouns are more abstract than other parts of speech. To understand a pronoun, children must already have a strong, concrete understanding of the noun. For this reason, pronouns (along with interjections) are typically introduced later than other grammar symbols, often in the elementary years. Even then, one lesson is not enough. In Montessori, the real learning happens after the presentation, when we step back and children work independently with the material. The guide’s role is to show how to use the material, not to explain grammar in detail. Understanding emerges through repeated use. Deepening Understanding Through Play and Exploration As children grow more confident, the work expands to include: Transposition games, where pronouns are removed or replaced to explore how meaning changes. Command cards, which physically isolate pronouns through action. Personal pronoun charts, introducing first, second, and third person (singular and plural) through storytelling. The Verb Family, where children explore the close relationship between the verb, adverb, and pronoun. Children discover that pronouns often work closely with verbs, helping to carry action and meaning through a sentence. Subtleties Come Later At first, Montessori avoids getting caught in fine distinctions. Over time, children may explore nuances such as the difference between possessive pronouns (the book is mine) and possessive adjectives (my book). These discussions often happen later, sometimes with the support of grammar references, once children have a solid foundation. Language Revealed, Not Taught Through this carefully layered progression of movement, sentence work, symbols, and exploration, children develop a deep understanding of how words function differently in sentences. Montessori grammar invites children to discover how language works at their own pace through hands-on exploration. We don’t rush this process. So by the time children are ready to name the pronoun, it’s not a new idea. It’s something they already know. We invite you to visit our classrooms in Delran, New Jersey to see firsthand the children’s joy of learning!